Someone who chooses to abuse will need to make many difficult changes in order to have a healthier relationship. Major life changes take time and effort.
Steps to TRUE Reconciliation
Reconciliation. What does this truly mean? Many abusers beg or demand their victims to forgive them for their past behaviors, even though they take no steps to change their future behaviors. At this point, in the abuser's mind at least, you are reconciled. They may...
That Crazy-Making Honeymoon Stage
Have you ever received a letter from your abuser where he* makes every promise you ever wanted to hear? Suddenly, your decision to leave him seems the most stupid and selfish move you have ever made. This was my experience. I was married for 20 years to an abuser. The...
Why Do I Want to Take My Abuser Back?
I have worked with many abused women* who have left their abusers, but, instead of jumping for joy as one might expect, felt drawn back into the relationship. Why might this happen? You still love him and miss him You are struggling financially Your kids miss him and...
Advice to a Repentant Abuser
Recently, an abusive man* contacted me via my website’s contact page. He told me he realized several months ago he had been abusing his wife for over a decade, and had stopped. Even though he was no longer abusive (his words), his wife wanted a divorce. He asked me if...
Live at Peace
Jesus came to earth so we could live at peace with God and with others. A victim of domestic violence can be at peace with God, but she* will never be able to be at peace with her abuser. Paul the apostle counsels us in Romans 12:18: If it is possible, as far as it...
How Can an Abuse Victim Know If/When to Reconcile?
How can an abuse victim know when it is safe to reconcile with her* seemingly repentant abuser? The average number of times an abuse victim will return to her abuser is 7. If after she leaves, a victim returns to her abuser 6 times, then leaves again, this implies...
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