I have a daughter whose first word was "no". At the time, it rather startled me. My other kids' first words were "dada" and "ball". For this daughter, saying "no" as her first word was prophetic. Of all my kids, she is the one with the best boundaries. What does...
I recently saw a blog outlining a Pastor's response to an abuse victim's request for help. His response infuriated me! I am sure my blood pressure went up about 20 points. Today I would like to share the original request for help, the pastor's response, and my...
***Trigger Warning*** On May 17, I took a webinar hosted by the National Coalition of Domestic Violence (NCADV) entitled "Prosecuting Domestic Violence Cases: Efforts to Balance Serving Society and Survivors within a Multidisciplinary Team Framework." This webinar was...
Today I would like to ask those of you in abusive relationships a question: Do you try to diagnose your abusive partners? I have worked with many people in abusive relationships who spend a lot of time wondering if their partners have some kind of psychological...
All users aren't abusers, but all abusers are users. If you are in the beginning stages of a relationship with one of these people, they will try some common tactics to real you in. I will share some strategies you can use to combat these tactics.* Note: If you are...
I speak to many abuse victims. They contact me to understand whether they really are being abused. They contact me to seek help in leaving their abusers. Some even contact me to ask me why they still love their abusers. This is my topic for today. How is it possible...
In my last blog I shared how to spot a bully, and gave some specific ways to combat the manipulation of a bully. This week, I would like to talk about using personal boundaries to protect yourself from these sharks. Many women are not taught how to stand up for...
Remember those bullies from school? They seemed oh so powerful and strong . . . no one had the guts to stand up to them. Abusers are bullies in disguise. In the beginning they look like lambs when they are really wolves, or dolphins when they are really sharks. Those...
Has this ever happened to you? You know something is wrong with your life, and you need to change it. Then you hear someone else's story of suffering and you think, "What do I have to complain about? I'm just a wimp! Look what that person is dealing with, it is so...
To restrain or not to restrain . . . that is the question. Professionals often suggest abuse victims get a restraining order (also known as a Personal Protection Order) as a way to reduce the contact (and abuse) from their abuser. Is this a good idea for you? That...
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