Many of you may have seen a video created by British make-up artist Lauren Luke called “How to Look Your Best the Morning After”. Here is the link. Note: the video is no longer available, but the article is still there. Ms. Luke made this video in partnership with the...
I have found that many abuse survivors have a hard time evaluating whether a person would be a potentially good mate, or whether s/he would become another abuser. One friend of mine told me that her "picker" was broken, because she had chosen one abusive boyfriend...
I have recently become aware of a great organization, called the Childhood Domestic Violence Association, (CDV.org). CDV’s mission is: “To help those who experience domestic violence as children reach their full potential and break the cycle of violence”. Many women...
I like to write about how to recognize potential abuse in relationships because I remember how long it took me to realize I was being abused. Emotional abuse is especially hard to recognize. When my marriage got difficult, I kept thinking I was doing something wrong,...
Today, I would like to talk about how a formerly strong woman gets trapped in a domestic violence relationship. Many of us have heard the analogy of a frog in a pot of boiling water. If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it would jump out immediately. In the...
I have recently become aware of a “new” term used to describe psychological abuse – “gaslighting”. I put “new” in quotes because the term was actually first used in a 1938 play called Gas Light. The play was made into the movie Gaslight in 1940 and 1944. In the play...
Author Lundy Bancroft has written a great book called Why Does He DO That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. I reference it on my Get Help page, and I recommend that everyone interested in domestic violence read it. In addition, Mr. Bancroft did a...
First of all, I would advise you not to talk to your partner about this. The main goal of an abuser is to gain control over his victim. He may have been doing quite a nice job of this by many methods: verbal, emotional, spiritual, sexual, economic, or physical abuse...
In my last blog I talked about how hard it is for an abuse victim (you) to decide whether you are being abused, especially if the abuse is not physical. Why is this? There are many reasons: 1. Your abuser blames his* behavior on you. 2. He denies what he is doing. 3....
One of the hardest things about verbal abuse is figuring out if you are being abused. That was my biggest problem. I didn't have any bruises or broken bones to point to. My husband was so good at turning every argument around that I thought, "Maybe that was my...
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