What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
I often talk about dysfunctional relationships. Today, I would like to look at what makes a healthy relationship. I have experienced both. My first marriage was sad. It was characterized by selfishness, control, invalidation and abuse. My second marriage is the...
How Can Family Courts Be Made Safer in DV Cases?
Abuse victims are encouraged by everyone to leave their abusers for their own safety, and the safety of their kids. During their divorces, however, they are told they must give partial, or sometimes even full-custody of their kids to their abuser. This is just not...
Don’t Try to Diagnose Your Abuser
Today I would like to ask those of you in abusive relationships a question: Do you try to diagnose your abusive partners? I have worked with many people in abusive relationships who spend a lot of time wondering if their partners have some kind of psychological...
How Can We Protect Our Kids from Sexual Abuse?
I am volunteering to work in the children’s program at our church. Before I could be with the children, I was asked to take an online course on Sexual Abuse Awareness. The course was given by Ministry Safe Institute. Gregory Love and Kimberly Norris of the law firm of...
How to Find a Good DV Lawyer
One of the most important things you can do for yourself as a DV survivor is to find a lawyer to stand beside you when fighting against your abuser in court. The stories I hear from abuse survivors about rulings they've received in custody court would turn your hair....
Fighting the Strategies of a User
All users aren't abusers, but all abusers are users. If you are in the beginning stages of a relationship with one of these people, they will try some common tactics to real you in. I will share some strategies you can use to combat these tactics.* Note: If you are...
God Values You Over Your Marriage
I have recently finished a course on the Old Testament - so interesting! One of the things we studied closely was the 10 Commandments. I have looked at the 10 Commandments many, many times. But, this time, really studying them gave me a new insight on domestic abuse....
What Does the Bible Say about Abuse?
I am continuing my intensive course. This week, my friend Rose Saad, author of A Path to Hope, was kind enough to write a guest blog for me. Many of us have tried to seek wisdom about domestic violence from our churches and/or the bible. Often, our churches have...
Help! I’m Getting Divorced, Now What?
Are you facing a divorce? Perhaps you have finally gotten the courage to leave your abusive spouse. Or, your spouse cheated on you multiple times. Whatever the reason you are in this place, it sucks. I've been there. My divorce took 18 months. The courts gave my...
Why Do I Still Love My Abuser?
I speak to many abuse victims. They contact me to understand whether they really are being abused. They contact me to seek help in leaving their abusers. Some even contact me to ask me why they still love their abusers. This is my topic for today. How is it possible...