Pastors, Protect Your Church
The folks at A Cry For Justice recently shared a guest blog written by an American pastor. After dealing with abusers in his own church, this pastor came to several surprising conclusions about how a pastor should handle abuse within the church. It was so right on, I...
Do You Experience Toxic Shame?
Do you struggle with feeling shame? Many of us do. Sometimes we are taught to feel shame by our parents, or at a childhood church. But often, our abusers plant a feeling of shame in our hearts. How is this possible? The following is taken from my book, A Journey to...
Why Do I Treat Myself Poorly?
I recently began gaining weight for the first time in years. Exercise and dieting did nothing to help. I was not sure what to do next. I decided to contact my naturopath Cheryl Townsley. Cheryl is an amazing Christian woman and health care provider. Over the last few...
Save Marriage at all Costs? Really?
I have been a domestic violence advocate for seven years, an author and blogger for six. During that time, I cannot count how many domestic violence victims I have spoken to who were counseled by their church leaders (pastors) to stay in a marriage with their abusive...
Do You Have a Target on Your Back?
Many of us feel like we have a target on our backs. It is as if users and abusers can see us coming. Somehow, like a shark who smells blood in the water, they know we are an easy mark for their manipulation and evil. Does this mean that it is our fault if we are...
How Do YOU View God?
I have been reading a really interesting book for my master's program. It is called With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God. The author, Skye Jethani talks about the four postures people typically take when relating to God. The following describes these four...
What Does “Laying Down Your Life” Look Like?
We are often told that we should "lay down our lives" for others. The person that says this to us is often (but not always) trying to manipulate us. When they are trying to manipulate us, what they really mean is lay down your life for ME. Using the Bible to...
What Does the Bible Say About Domestic Violence?
There is much confusion about what the Bible says about domestic violence, marriage and divorce. The Bible was not meant to be read out of context. Many abused spouses are told that "God hates divorce" and that "the only biblical grounds for divorce are infidelity and...
Do Males Experience the Same Amount of DV as Females?
In last week's blog, I compared a particular woman's experience of domestic violence to that of a man. The week before, I shared "Patrick's" story of abuse. From these two articles, we can clearly see that some men DO experience domestic violence at the hands...
What Lies Do You Believe?
Many of us unconsciously believe lies about ourselves, others, and God. Being abused can mess with your mind. We begin believing the negative (untrue) things our abusers say about us. Then, without realizing it, we act on the lies we believe. An example of this is...