What Do I Lean On?
Last week was difficult. Two very hard things happened to me. The first was I had to make the wrenching decision to put my sweet little Maltese dog to sleep. Putting the family dog to sleep is rough no matter what, but this dog came to me at a very stressful time in...
DV Victim and Parent – What to Do?
In my last blog, I talked about the paradoxes a domestic violence victim faces when they are also a parent. In my case, I struggled with wanting to escape my abusive marriage, but also, not wanting to put my kids through an ugly divorce. I wanted my kids to understand...
DV Victim & Parent-What’s it Feel Like?
I often talk about the difficulties of being a victim of domestic violence. I’ve also talked about how detrimental DV is to the children in the family. But I haven’t said much about the pain of being a DV victim who is also a parent. Why do I make this distinction?...
I don’t want to look back
I saw an interesting blog last week written by Mike McBride of ChildAbuseSurvivor.net. Mike writes about abuse as an adult male who was abused as a child. In his blog, he talks about healing from abuse, and growing older. He says many abuse survivors try to heal so...
Breaking Free from Financial Abuse
Are you considering leaving your abuser? If so, one of the factors that might keep you stuck in the abuse is lack of finances. Abusers often try to keep their victims tied to them financially by the following means: They prevent you from getting a job, or bother you...
Does the Bible Allow Leaving an Abuser?
I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of domestic violence victims (usually women) whose churches did not support them when they finally separated from their abusive spouses. This lack of support had many different faces: Their pastor told them to their face...
Things are not what they seem
I'm reading the book Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive by John Eldridge. Today I read something that struck me. He talks about great stories, and how they often teach us what we see in our daily lives is not the full picture. For example, in the Wizard...
How/When To Include Your Kids?
I hope you have enjoyed my series on dating after abuse. If you have been dating someone, and you think you may seriously have a future with him,* you may wonder when is the right time to introduce each other to your kids? Also, what is the best way to do this? I...
Make a Potential Husband “Run the Gauntlet”
Today, I continue my series on dating after abuse by summarizing some great advice found in Emily Avagliano's book, Dating after Trauma: How to Find the Love of Your Life After Experiencing an Abusive Relationship, Rape or Sexual Abuse. The following is taken from my...
Safety Guidelines for Dating
Former Abuse victims often worry about picking another abuser when they begin dating again. This is a valid concern. Why? Here are a few reasons many survivors will unintentionally pick an abuser again: Abusers are very charming at the beginning of a relationship, and...
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