The Lion of Judah
If you have been following me for very long, you know that I often share contemporary songs in my blogs that have meaning to me. Today, I would like to share "The Lion and the Lamb" by Big Daddy Weave.* The chorus of this song has been stuck in my mind for days: Our...
Escaping Your Abuser with Your Pets
When planning to escape an abuser, there are many things to consider. Where will I live? What will I eat? Will I be able to find a job? What will happen to my kids? Contacting your local domestic violence center to create a safety plan is the best thing you can do...
Are the New DV Safety Apps Really Safe?
I left my abuser 12 years ago. At that time, to receive help, I had to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. I had just recently received a cell phone, and it wasn't a "smart phone." My phone didn't have my contacts in it, so I carried around a small address...
How Can Group Counseling Help a DV Survivor?
We don't often hear about group counseling. I am currently going to my local seminary to get a degree in counseling. Since studying group counseling this semester I have learned a few things I didn't know: Group counseling can be just as effective and sometimes even...
What Voices Are You Listening To?
What do you hear about yourself when you listen to your inner voice? Do you hear how wonderful, smart and strong you are? Or, do you hear a negative voice, one that says you are lazy, fat and stupid? Maybe you don't even realize the negative things you say to...
Why Do People Often Take the Side of the Abuser?
I can't tell you how many abuse victims I've spoken to where this happens. The victim's family, friends or church take the side of the abuser in a separation, rather than standing by the victim. This doesn't make logical sense. Why would a person's own family turn...
What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
I often talk about dysfunctional relationships. Today, I would like to look at what makes a healthy relationship. I have experienced both. My first marriage was sad. It was characterized by selfishness, control, invalidation and abuse. My second marriage is the...
How Can Family Courts Be Made Safer in DV Cases?
Abuse victims are encouraged by everyone to leave their abusers for their own safety, and the safety of their kids. During their divorces, however, they are told they must give partial, or sometimes even full-custody of their kids to their abuser. This is just not...
A Garment of Praise
Last year I shared a new method I learned of studying the Bible. I read a chapter of the Bible and write down everything that speaks to me. Then, I look at what I've written and discern what I think God is saying to me that day. Sometimes I write the verses back to...
Don’t Try to Diagnose Your Abuser
Today I would like to ask those of you in abusive relationships a question: Do you try to diagnose your abusive partners? I have worked with many people in abusive relationships who spend a lot of time wondering if their partners have some kind of psychological...
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