Deciding whether to leave an abusive relationship is not an easy task. People who have never been in this situation often don't understand this. In their...
Steps to TRUE Reconciliation
Reconciliation. What does this truly mean? Many abusers beg or demand their victims to forgive them for their past behaviors, even though they take no steps to change their future behaviors. At this point, in the abuser's mind at least, you are reconciled. They may...
Biblical Grounds for Divorce
Abuse victims in the church are often kept in bondage because they are told that abuse is not "biblical grounds for divorce." Leslie Vernick disagrees, (and so do I). In a recent blog, Leslie answered the question, "What are biblical grounds for divorce when there is...
Making the Church a Safe Place
In most churches, we feel we must put on a fake happy face when we walk through the doors. Are you as tired of that as I am? Pastor Ryan Paulson is too. Today I share a sermon he recently preached about depression and suicide and making the church a safe place for...
Do You Know the Signs of Verbal Abuse?
Does your intimate partner ever say you are too sensitive? Or say something cruel and then say, "I was just joking"? These are two signs that you are being verbally abused. I recently came upon an article that gives a great description of verbal/emotional abuse. Here...
Surviving the Holidays
Surviving the Holidays The holidays are supposed to be joyful and fun-filled. Sometimes they are, but often that is not our experience. The holidays can be especially painful for you if you are depressed, are mourning a loved one, or have recently lost your job. Note:...
The Voice of a Sexual Abuse Survivor
The more I work with domestic violence survivors, the more I realize how many have been sexually abused as children. I am no longer shocked in my counseling sessions when someone begins sharing how their father, uncle, brother or cousin sexually abused them when they...
Squashing your ANTs – (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
In my last two blogs, I talked about how I have struggled with self-esteem issues, and what I have done to increase my self-esteem. I don't feel I have fully arrived, but I have come a long way. Today, I put on my counselor...
On the Road to Finding Self-Worth
In my last blog, I talked about the things that have happened in my life that have caused me to have a core belief that I am not worthy of being spoken to by the people closest to me. I didn't fully realize I believed this until I tried to teach how to have...
Becoming a Person Who Recognizes Their Own Worth
I am facilitating a counseling group for women who have experienced (or are still experiencing) domestic violence. Seeing these women grow in strength, insight and self-esteem is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. It is also stretching me as a human...
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