What do you hear about yourself when you listen to your inner voice? Do you hear how wonderful, smart and strong you are? Or, do you hear a negative voice, one that says you are lazy, fat and stupid? Maybe you don’t even realize the negative things you say to yourself.
In my book A Journey to Healing After Emotional Abuse, I suggest my readers try this exercise. Write down everything you say to yourself for a week. (If this is too daunting, just do it for a day or two.) I tried this when I was still married to my abuser, and I was shocked at what I said to myself every day. Things like:
- You should make his favorite meal tonight, you would if you were a good wife.
- If you were a good mother, you would never blow up at your kids.
- You are so lazy . . . look at all the dust on that table!
- You must be very selfish to want a little time to yourself.
Some of these message came from my abuser. Some came from my parents. Some just came from my head. They were all toxic. Kind of like eating a diet of Coke and potato chips – not good for the body.
This diet of internal negative remarks is toxic to our souls. 
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Once you have a list of things you say to yourself daily, read it over. Are the messages mostly positive, or negative? If you are like most people, they will lean toward the negative. (Negative thoughts often start with “I should,” or “I must” or “I always” or “I never.”)
Breaking this bad habit may take some time. Here is an exercise that can help you learn to beat this bad habit. Every time you write down a negative thought, replace it with a positive one, and write the positive one in larger letters. For example, replace “I am so stupid” with “I am learning and growing.” Replace “I never do anything right” with “I am so capable.” Replace “I have elephant thighs” with “My legs are strong.” Be careful to frame your new thoughts in positive language. Instead of saying, “I’m not ugly,” say “I am desirable.” Instead of “I’m not lazy,” say “I am energetic and thoughtful.”
As you get more comfortable with speaking positive truth over yourself, your negative thoughts will begin to fade. When a negative thought pops into your mind, speak the positive truth out loud to yourself. Words spoken aloud have power.
One of my favorite singing groups is Casting Crowns. They wrote a song years ago called Voice of Truth* that talks about the tendency we all have to listen to our negative internal voices. Here is the link to the video on YouTube. Just gorgeous. Here are the lyrics:
“Voice of Truth”
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand
But the giant’s calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don’t seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Because Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you
You are…
My favorite lyrics in the song are:
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me Tweet This
Did you know God sings over you? Zephaniah 3:17 says:
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.
I just love the image of God singing over me. When I think I am lazy, stupid or selfish, I try to picture God singing over me, like I used to sing and pray over my kids when they were little. I know that the love I have for my children is nowhere near the amount of love God has for us.
I pray you will feel God’s intense love for you as you learn to listen to His voice, instead of your own negative one.
May God bless you all today,
Caroline
*Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman, “Voice of Truth,” Capitol CMG Publishing, Essential Music Publishing LLC, BMG Chrysalis US, 2003.
